Ah those two syllables

My friend and I, sitting on the stairs right outside our college canteen in a wonderfully breezy weather, were exchanging epiphanies, because isn’t that what we young-adults do best! (I have a problem with calling myself an adult, more on that some other day). I had dressed myself in a magenta kurti, jeggings and black pumps which were quite definitely not pain-free. But I liked them, a lot in fact. She said I looked pretty, and teased me about it. That’s when we hit upon this conclusion at the same time – we have never, ever dressed for a guy in our lives.

Maybe that has something to do with the fact that both of us are single. Maybe not, really. But one thing is for certain, we have never dressed with the objective of impressing a guy. And I am saying this because I see girls all around me brimming with insecurity, not because they don’t consider themselves to be pretty, but because a guy (or in general, guys) doesn’t consider her to be pretty.

I won’t lie to you, I did give it all a thought. Rather lots and lots of thoughts. Because, frankly, I was curious – am I, just like so many of my friends, insecure about my self? And I realised, not so much. It’s not that I never feet bad about my body, or that I never complain about how thin my hair is. It’s just that I don’t cry over it.

And the reason I have never mourned about it is because I have never felt that silly need to look pretty. Not that I don’t like to look pretty, don’t get me wrong, because I do. I have only come to that place where I know I can’t change the way I look, and even though sometimes my face looks all bloated and double-chinned with a forehead full of acne, it is OKAY. I still look quite nice.

The point I am trying to make is, I wasn’t born to simply look pretty. But that does not immediately become equivalent to not caring about how I look.

And hence what follows is that whichever day I plan to suddenly dress with a bit more care and time, I do it just for myself. I look into the mirror and feel good because I like it, not because I think someone else might like it. Life is already way too complicated without adding the lengthy predictions about another human being’s opinions about your attire.

I guess it’s the feminist in me talking. I do hate it when self-proclaimed feminist frown upon well-dressed women. I don’t believe that feminism is suddenly not caring about how you look or leaving behind every desire to wear a really beautiful dress or feel a bit girly. Rather it is not feel an unearthly urge to do it all for someone whose opinion won’t change your life around one bit. Go wear makeup and a cocktail dress, just do it because you want to.

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10 thoughts on “Ah those two syllables

  1. BINGO!!!! I am so glad you wrote this, and I LOVE you for it. Don’t ever change!!! I have never, NEVER, dressed for a guy, any guy, in my life. Not even for my hubby dear, hahaha!! The day he came to see me, I was wrapped up, Jaya Bhaduri style,in the most horendous ink blue saree which he later on told me he hated. I felt like a freak, hehehe!! It was only after I had changed into a very casual salwar kameez that I totally relaxed, and we connected. All because, within the first half hour I realized that being dolled up in a saree made me so conscious that I wasn’t myself, and unless I was ‘me’, it was never going to work. The most I dress up is ALWAYS when we have a ladies day/night out, and I want to dress up top to toe. Being the girly girl hating feminist is the flip side to the MCPs we encounter everyday who do NOT want us to dress up because we look ‘easy’.

    • Hehehe I can totally imagine you hating the Jaya Bhaduri dolled up style. It’s so horrible that we constantly have to think about the “Log kya kahenge” every time we stand in front of a mirror without ever thinking about what WE feel about how we look. Even I have fallen prey to this, and I dislike that I have.

  2. I havent dressed for a guy either :P And you know that :D
    And life really is complicated enough without having this extra thing to over think about.
    You know, its really weird how things between us work sometimes. I will tell you what happened yesterday. we didnt have class in 2nd half because we had to take books under book bank scheme. so we got to laze around till 3. but then, joyeeta was like, lets dress up. we dont need to wear college dress for this anyways. so we did. wore a nice shirt and jeans. i even tied my hair in a ponytail which as you know, i NEVER do. lip gloss(strawberry wala jo main kha gayi :P), kajal. and i felt good. really good. i was thinking all the time what Antara would have said had she been here. ki “I ALWAYS tell you to open your hair sometime”.
    Ever since i joined college i see girls from my hostel dressing up for their boyfriends EVERYDAY to go out while i stumble sleepily for cha in my shorts. I wont say i didnt feel bad about not having anyone to dress up for. i did sometimes but yesterday i understood that i didnt NEED a guy to dress up for. Looking in the mirror and seeing my hair like that felt really good. and i am ready to do it again just for that feeling.
    so the thing is, i decide to make a post out of it this weekend and guess what i find on your blog!!!! you cant imagine my happiness :D telepathy does work eh? :D
    AND YOU ARE PRETTY. MORE THAN PRETTY.
    YOU ARE FRICKIN BEAUTIFUL. SO SHUT UP. AND I LOVE THAT ACNE ON YOUR FOREHEAD. IT IS ADORABLE.
    ok i am spamming your comment section. My apologies :P
    Love you girl. And those pumps are really awesome man(assuming they are the ones i tried on?)

    • Exactly! We might want to dress up for somebody sometimes but those are the special moments. Mostly we dress just as you said it. For ourselves. Because we want to. And I love that.
      And that’s because you’re biased :P
      And oh your hair. Damn. I love it. One day I am going to drag you to a salon to get layers.

  3. This is so very true!…we were only discussing dis at college,isn’t it? U know sometimes I dress up only to cheer myself up!…and needless to say…it works! ;)

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