My mind needs to really sleep

I talk to myself a lot and, many a times, with imaginary people. I always have. In fact, sometimes I end up talking to myself (or the imaginary person) in public, when I am walking on the road. It is involuntary and I have to stop myself before people really start to think I am crazy. What are you supposed to do when, while growing up, you are the only child and live on that side of the campus which has no kids even remotely close to your age?

Having been an only child and given one of the wildest imagination powers known, my mind and I have always been in a long and deep relationship. We are by each others sides, never-failing.

In short, I think too much.

And when I say “I think too much”, there is really no way I can possibly explain to you how much that is. When I started this blog, I actually seriously contemplated whether the tagline should be – “a blog by a neurotic girl who thinks too much”.

Sometimes I wish I could just drain my mind, empty it…not think for a minute at least. I can’t deal with all of it. The regrets, the wants, the expectations, the loss, the pain, the feeling of a huge vacuum – I want to block it all out.

I want to take all those pages and staple them together. Let them remain unseen for a while. Let them be untouched for now. Let some dust fall upon them.

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25 thoughts on “My mind needs to really sleep

  1. Was this inspired from my emphatic comment yesterday on our psychic heads :P Well, I get what you mean about shutting yourself up. I’m sure I don’t think as much as you do, BUT I’m so getting there day by day :/

  2. i dont want the dust to fall on your imaginative mind yaar! who will put up with me then yaar.
    and believe me, i know it very well how it feels like to think a lot…

  3. Dear Antara,
    Hope you recognise me?? Well this is ipsita. I understand your feelings just too well. Once i had imagined that I have gobbled up a rat and it is nibbling away at my gut, those are the kind of dreams i see nowadays. More weirdo visions come up day by day. Well hope u can calm yourself out by writing because by writing only people lyk u and me and kirti cat can console ourselves

    • OfCOURSE I recognise you silly! You lived right behind my house, how can I not! :) Any chance of seeing you anytime soon?
      Aah weird dreams…you and I seem to be extremely alike when it comes to that. I am very talented in having weird dreams.
      But you are right. Writing helps so, so much. Makes it easier to breathe out.

      • I am in BBSR dear, and all these silly exams are going on, I will try to come there sometime sooon, because I miss the campus a lot. Well how is my house now??? Is it occupied by somebody??? Well I like your writing a lot. Go on writing!!!!

        • Tell me when you come ok? I’ll be going for sometime from 17th though.
          It is occupied now. And they have cut SO many trees! :( I mean, I remember what a beautiful garden you guys had and so many trees and how I loved them and now… :|
          And thanks! I love your writing too!

  4. imagination is good..:)
    its makes u one of the less mundane..it makes u the awesome person you are…it makes you write such beautiful posts..
    keep imagining, keep the neurotic self in order..:D

  5. I think you should read ‘The Sixth Man’ by David Baldachi. It speaks of a man with such a powerful mind too!!
    You can sit besides the sea and look at the waves and blank your mind, but where is the sea in kgp?!!

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