What I see in you today

I do not care how you look today. Whether you combed your hair. Whether you checked if your T-shirt matches your pants. Whether the leather shoes are shining and new. I do not care if you can’t differentiate between Prada and Chanel, because neither can I. Whether you can pull off playing that Michael Nyman piece on the piano without missing a note, although that would awe me with its beauty. I don’t care if you trip a lot, make things fall and are generally awkward.

I do care how you speak today. Whether you can make me listen. Whether your eyes match the words you mouth. Whether you can perceive this world in a new way. I do care whether you can see the greys without always differentiating everything into black and white. Whether you stop, for a moment at least, to breathe in the earth just after it rains. Whether, regardless of how you dance, you can make me dance with you, however awkwardly. I do care whether you read, listen, make things happen and are generally something different.

That is what makes you my friend.

The Waters Carried All She Loved

The evening breeze teased her hair
While she gazed upon the gushing waves.
I asked her, “Such a smile you wear,
Tell me, what is it your heart craves?”
She said, “It craves not, just waits my friend”
“What for?” I asked, with curiosity;
“You see these waters, how they descend,
How they flow for eternity?
These waters took all I loved,
And carried them to some land afar.
I’ve stood here, undeterred,
And unmoved like a North star.
Someday I, too, shall flow,
With these waters, rocks and sand;
To some land unknown I’ll go,
But I wait not for that land.

Somewhere deep in these tangled waters,
Lies a boat, undisturbed.
And there, for years, has slept my father,
Silent and unobserved.
I wait for that day when I’ll see him again,
When he’ll lift me to the Heavens above;
And we’ll wipe away Lost Time’s sorry stain
With these waters that carry all I love.”

{Reposting this from my old blog}

My mind needs to really sleep

I talk to myself a lot and, many a times, with imaginary people. I always have. In fact, sometimes I end up talking to myself (or the imaginary person) in public, when I am walking on the road. It is involuntary and I have to stop myself before people really start to think I am crazy. What are you supposed to do when, while growing up, you are the only child and live on that side of the campus which has no kids even remotely close to your age?

Having been an only child and given one of the wildest imagination powers known, my mind and I have always been in a long and deep relationship. We are by each others sides, never-failing.

In short, I think too much.

And when I say “I think too much”, there is really no way I can possibly explain to you how much that is. When I started this blog, I actually seriously contemplated whether the tagline should be – “a blog by a neurotic girl who thinks too much”.

Sometimes I wish I could just drain my mind, empty it…not think for a minute at least. I can’t deal with all of it. The regrets, the wants, the expectations, the loss, the pain, the feeling of a huge vacuum – I want to block it all out.

I want to take all those pages and staple them together. Let them remain unseen for a while. Let them be untouched for now. Let some dust fall upon them.